Thursday, August 9, 2012

Hello all,

I know this post is LONG over due but really there is disappointing stuff to write about and I HATE that!!!

Brian is not done with treatments. We have to do 3 and a half weeks of radiation now. The tumor did not really shrink after the 4th chemo treatment and is still VERY large, 7 cm and wrapped in all of the veins and arteries of the heart with the tumor still being that size the chance of it coming back are great! so we are doing radiation to ensure we kill it!

Brian will have to go everyday for the 3.5 week and his treatments will be about 10 to 15 minutes each time. because the tumor is still by the lung and heart, there are LOTS of side affects that we need to be aware of  and none are good. We can hope and pray that none of them manifest in Brian! His health should help keep them at bay.  He will go in for a "dry" run on Thursday the 16th and may start the actual treatments Friday or Monday. One of the side affects is fatigue which on top of the chemo fatigue he is still feeling may make him take more naps, and we were told to keep weekends for rest.

I see Brian in way that he does not let most people see him. I can tell you all that he makes going through Chemo look easy while in front of our athletes, friends and family! what I see is when he is beat to the point where it is hard for him to move and is exhausted beyond belief. I want all of you to know that this is not easy on him but he does the very best he can!

Thank you to everyone for your continued love and support! We defiantly still need that!

We love you guys and are thankful to have you in our lives!

Taralu

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Hello All,

As Brian and I embark on what we hope is our last Chemo treatment, we find ourselves in unfamiliar territory. What will the next steps be, what kind of process will we have to follow? Will it be a regiment of follow up appointments how often will Brian need to be checked, When will he get his port out… I could go on and on… What we do know is that chemo is taking its toll on Brian. He is in constant pain and not a little pain it is immense at times to the point where it is hard for him to function. He sleeps rarely and has not gotten a full night for many many many months. For those who see him at the gym, I am sure you can see the pain he is in even if he tries to hide it. We hope that within a month and a half to 2 months, he will be getting back to normal operating performance.

For our gym members that read this blog, thank you so much for hanging in there with us! After we have walked this path for months now, we hope and pray to get back to normal in the very near future!

For everyone that reads this, we hope that you and your families are NEVER hit with something like this! It has taken its toll on us both physically and emotionally and every other way possible for that matter. Brian and I have always had a very strong bond between us and for that we are both thankful! This wreaks havoc on every aspect of your life and without a strong bond I can see how it could tear you apart!

This has been a very difficult path to walk but Brian can hold his head up high as he has taken this path and has held on to what is good in life, He has not gotten the negative bug at all and has kept positive throughout this! He cares for everyone of our athletes and for all of our friends and family and has never given up on them! I could not be more proud of him!

Brian I love you with everything that I am and you have continued to amaze me every day! I look forward to MANY more wonderful years by your side!

I will post later this week to confirm if this is going to be Brian’s last treatment! Thank you all for your love and support!

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Hello all!! it is with a VERY happy heart that I write this post!!! We got the PET scan results back yesterday and they are VERY VERY good!!! The tumor went from 14 x 10 cm to 7.9 x 4.6 cm so shrunk by basically 1/2 :) and the cancer activity went from 21.2 to 2.4. We will have two more treatments but that should be it!! We are all so excited we can hardly stand it! we cried LOTS of happy tears yesterday and we have said lots of prayers thanking god for keeping us close! Thank you all for the support, love and prayers. We could not have made it through this without all of you! As our bracelets say, no one fights alone and we could not a better crew fighting with us!

Love you guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, May 31, 2012

Hello all,

Well we did our 4th treatment yesterday! Brian continues to amaze me on how he does with these! Thankfully he does not suffer any of the nausea from Chemo however, his body is starting to pay the price for it! His hips hurt almost constantly and he has started to have tingling in his fingers and toes. and his Chemo brain has gotten VERY bad! He forgets things easily and that is bothering him as I think it would anyone! So if you have called or texted him and you have not heard back from him, try again as he may have forgotten about it.

We should have the PET scan on the 12th which will answer a lot of questions for us. What is the cancer doing and is there still any activity in the bone marrow. Brian is very nervous about this test. He has been having nightmares about results coming back bad. So this will be a long wait to get in there and get this done!

At his treatment yesterday, he wore his shirt that I bought for him Lime green of course and it says "I have chemo brain what is your excuse" OMG they all loved it! when we went in for the white blood cell booster today they were still talking about it! They love him there.

Brian's Dad will be here for a week or so with us again and we are very much so looking forward to that. He is coming to stay with Brian while I go to Park City to do my certification! I think he will be here for Fathers Day what a great thing that will be! Then my Mom, Brother and family come in for a shot visit on the 22nd.

We have been told many times that Brian makes this look easy, I am here to tell you he is the strongest man I know! He does have some down times and we have tried to keep them to us. Keep him in your thoughts and prayers and please remember to text or call him when you can!

As always thanks for reading!

Monday, May 21, 2012

Hello all,

Well we hope that Brian is now 1/2 way through his treatments. The reason I say it that way is, after his 4th treatment, we go for another PET scan to tell us what the tumor looks like and what the cancer activity is doing. After the Doctor looks at that, we will know where we are in his treatments. From those of you who have seen him through this, you know that he is feeling and looking better so we know that this Chemo stuff is working! Our next chemo date is 5/30/12 then 6/20/12 and hopefully his final will be 7/11/12. We are switching to Wednesday now as his Doctor is no longer taking patients on Thursday's.

Brian continues to amaze me with how he is taking this on. The Chemo has not had negative effects on him other then he gets tired VERY easily. But the sickness that normally comes with it is just not there! Thank you god. His hair is mostly gone and he is losing eye lashes and stuff. But it will all come back! The Chemo brain is getting to him; he forgets conversations and has a hard time with remembering really anything. This should also pass.

He is more involved in the gym which is such a blessing to him. For me to see how people are when they see him warms my heart!

If I can tell you guys anything about how this has affected us, I would say, do not judge. It is hard to know what is going on in the lives of people that are affected by something like this. They do the very best that they can to make it through every day. Until you have walked in their shoes, you really have no clue what they deal with on a minute to minute basis.

As always, I thank you guys for your support of Brian! He is an AMAZING man and he love you guys!!

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

OK so Brian and I are getting ready to do our 3rd chemo treatment and we are excited to be 1/2 way through! He has done very well with these and we hope that continues. The drugs are cumulative so they get a little harder every time. Keep him in your thoughts on Thursday and Friday!
We have lots of questions for his doctor this visit, the main one being "when will I get this port out"? it is bugging Brian bad to have that in him. I think when we do our last treatment, we are going to try and have it removed the next day. not sure that is going to happen with the amount of drugs Brian will have in his system but it does not hurt to ask! the other question that we both are anxious about is when is the next PET scan? we want to see what is going on with this tumor inside of Brian (we have nick names it Junior)
That is about it for today, I will update on Thursday.
Until then have a great few days!

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Hello All,

Brian and I had an amazing weekend full of fun and friends. We did Warrior Dash on Saturday, Brian did amazing! He was very good and did not get in the water or mud as per his doctors orders. However, he did take on all other obstacles and did a wonderful job with them. We are already signed up for our next run in October.

We have our up and down days and unfortunately, we have had some down very recently. We work through them but you guys have no clue really what we go through on a daily basis. We are blessed that Brian does so well with chemo but this still has had a negative effect on his life, he cannot do what he has done in the past and he worries all the time about the gym. He has poured his heart in to that place, thank you to all of our members that have stuck with us during this time. I know schedules have been hard for you to get to but please remember that there is an end in sight and we will be back to normal again I promise!

I am so thankful that Brian and I have the relationship that we do. I am not sure either of us could make it through this without each other! Without his strength and determination, I would have no fight to give. But everyday he gives everything he has so I do too. I love you so much Baby!!!!!!!!!

This can be a very lonely fight at times, we know everyone has their lives to live and we respect that, but when this all first happened, we were sending/receiving over 2000 texts in 2 weeks, as the time passes, everyone goes on with their lives and we are still fighting this every day. I can guarantee, I was one of those people in my life, OMG you have cancer? What can I do? Then I would just taper off and eventually stop communication (for what ever reason) never knowing what that does to the person whose life has been turned upside down. I vow to never again be that person. Being on this side of it you see everything entirely different.

I have learned to be thankful for everyday god gives us and to live it as best we can. When we are done with this, we will have both been changed. I am talking to Brian about volunteering at Dr. Swartz’s office in the Chemo room; I think this will be good for him and for those that are setting out on this path. I am going to find a place where I can volunteer and help other care givers through this as well. It is certainly not easy on the person affected by this disease but it is also not easy for the care giver. You are challenged everyday and you need to keep your strength up to make sure your loved one is cared for.

Thanks for listening and I am sorry for the negative undertone however, you all need to know that this is not an easy thing that we are being faced with but we are doing the very best that we can everyday!

Until next time god bless all of you!